Networking 101- the Jungle Style!

The predator moves stealthily, eyes fixed on the prey. Careful not to make its intentions clear, it remains invisible...camouflaged until the right moment. And then...POUNCES.

Now you would tell me the very first image forming in your mind is that of a tiger and its unsuspecting prey (or probably in this Twilight era, that of a werewolf and vampire), playing the harsh game of survival that Mother Nature has so cleverly devised. 

Think again.

A Jungle it sure is, but a Corporate Jungle, where numerous preys and predators are free to roam at large. And their usual meeting ground is - a Networking Event.

When one takes a fish out of water it goes berserk, thrashing wildly trying to get back into the water. An amateur placed in a networking event, feels very much like a fish taken out of water. 

He/She lacks the finer nuances necessary to pounce on one's prey. Readers who feel a consanguinity with that amateur need only read on to learn from the experiences of another noob, who unsuspectingly felt trapped like a fish in a net. On the other hand, for the more established at this game, you too may want to read on (and probably gloat at the amateurish attempts of those far less skilled in this delicate art)!

24-week internship, and then some more – I still find myself building strategy long and hard before a networking event. Networking they say is most useful when you happen to be not working (aka 'vella') – in fact it’s that 'net' which gets you 'working'. 

Often quoted in books steeped in philosophy is the line ‘the big fish is the one to be caught in the net.’ But missed here is the the basic question – “how do we know who the big fish is?” Hence, the very first step in networking is to know who the prey is. Some techniques employed may involve:

a) eavesdropping (not recommended..but highly effective),

b) mental guessing (you may arrive at the correct conclusion, albeit with the involvement of a large chunk of luck), 

c) and proper research (the most obvious and 'fool'-proof method..).

Knowing who it is you want to network with is half the problem solved. Well begun is half done! Nevertheless only half the problem is solved. The second half, unfortunately, would require a whole lot more strategy and planning.

Hence, let me leave this bit of strategy to you for a while. Think over it. Put yourself in this situation. 

You are attending an event, you know who you want to talk to. It’s just about breaking the ice, and then breaking some more, that is left. Whatddyado??

If you think you know how to start the conversation or how to hand out the spanking new business card you just got printed...let us know.

And if not, then come back soon for the second half of the solution (an amateur one of course!).

-Paaritosh T

Please put your pens down and stop writing.

Exams are a curious thing, one which students are invariably allergic to. Making matters worse is the absence of any foolproof vaccination, thereby leading to, without fail, an annual epidemic in the months of December and April. Summer may arrive early, monsoon late, but exams have a knack of reaching the right place at the wrong time. In addition to this, they know no political boundaries, and usually follow their victims throughout their formative years, irrespective of the country. Countries placing barriers to entry on exams, would have thrived (even during the recently passed recession) on an economy based solely on the "import export" of students, during certain periods of March-May and November-December. 

I speak from personal experience here because I have had the rather unenviable distinction of having given (or is it 'taken'? Damn it, I always get confused on this one!) exams in three different countries. Thankfully for me, my father's company wasnt in the mood of gifting us Krisflyer or any other flyer mileage points, and that number stayed at that.

So to observe the effect that globalization has had on this phenomenon of examination, the following experiment should be rather useful. Take a prototype (yours truly), place him in exam halls in different countries, and monitor his heartbeat to observe the reaction. 

Bangalore (I know its Bengaluru now, but the former sounds way cooler), 2007

--^v----------^v---------^v-------^v--------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v--^v-^v--^v-^v--^v-^v--

(Beginning of exam)                   (halfway through)                  (Rushing to end) 

I had gone for my first major exam on Indian soil (yes, I like the dramatic effect this sentence creates), the I I T J E E! The ingrained psychology drilled in us Indians is that no matter what, utilize every microsecond of your time during an examination. The frantic scribbling should continue till the point the 

teacher tries to snatch the paper away, and you should have to let go only for fear of your own hands being accomplice in tearing 3hrs worth of work. To save time, students even resist nature's call, and test their limits (and hopefully only test and not cross it!), lest they lose time.

 

It was the presence of the invigilators though which provided tadka on the already chilly experience. (Do note that by chilly I do not imply "cold" in its literal sense since it was April, and the hall wasn't exactly air-conditioned.) I know I can be forgiven for referring to them as alligators instead of invigilators (what? don't look at the screen like that. These words rhyme, and I am not out of my mind!). Those huge eyes peer at you with "oh you are SO dead!" look, that self pity can't be blamed for making an appearance. Its at these points you wish you had an Alpenliebe with you, hoping it helps pacify these gators (refer to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XrTtidde4U). At least it would make the exam a more comfortable if not easier affair!

Gandhi Memorial International School, Jakarta, March 2007

 --^v---^v---^v---^v---^v-------------^v-------------^v------------^v-------------^v---------------^v---------------^v--

(Beginning of exam)                   (halfway through)                  (By the end) 

Indonesians are very mild and easy-going. What I dint know was that these very adjectives could also hold applicable for an exam hall environment. That is though, until I had the good-fortune of having an Indonesian invigilator for a high school exam. Throughout the duration of the exam, she had the I-couldn't-care-less expression, which the famous Droopy has made his own. As would be obvious, the well-thought out coughing and scratching of foreheads during the MCQs were more profound than usual, turning the usually silent exam hall into a fish market of sorts.

Jakarta International School, June 2006 (American School)

--^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v--

(constantly high) 

The heart rate found more reasons than one to double itself when I went to give an external exam in an American School. I don't think I can be any more explicit here! Let me just say that the sights and sounds around the exam hall and campus premises made it a lot more difficult to concentrate on the examination at hand!

Amidst this razmattaz, the invigilators formed part of a relaxed backdrop, being the perfect hybrid of our "alligators" and "Droopys". Friendly yet stern, their presence was neither imposing nor unfelt. It was the "not-so-invigilator" aspect which formed a memorable experience!

National University of Singapore, December 2007

Singapore = Discipline? What discipline? Its more like auto-programmed robots! The exams I have sat for in the past three years, have followed the same "script" (literally): the same speech at the beginning and end of the stipulated time (not to forget the one 15 minutes before the end), the same person sitting in front of me for the royal treatment exams met out to us, and the same screwing up that follows. What I fail to understand is the concept of an "exam script", which is adhered to word by word! Its feels eerily familiar to the pronouncing of a life sentence to the alleged. To ensure you readers do not miss out on this experience, let me sign off in the typical end-of-exam tone I have been hearing (with convenient modifications of course!).

" Anyone still found reading would be strongly appreciated, and his/her name shall be noted down for strictly no disciplinary action, which may involve exclusive preview of articles or a contribution to the rostrum itself. You may now go back to your exam revision. Please make sure you have left some part of yourself behind so that we get to see you again."

P.S Noticed that the heartbeat monitor was missing in the NUS section? Ah well, epitomises the NUS experience; many things one plans here remain just those, plans!

Its a Small World After All...

SELAMAT Hejsan! Namaskar and welcome to this blog, our attempt at providing you your monthly dose of humour, philosophy, tech-dom and general randomness!

A term often overused these days is "globalization". Talk about globalization, and I start to wonder whether the term was coined keeping me in mind. Confused? Allow me to explain. My family has strong UP (theoretically Uttar Pradesh, practically Ulta Pradesh) roots. Whatever I do know of the family tree, my ancestors seemed to have left the Shava-Shava of Punjab and taken a liking to UP (though that doesnt prevent us from going gaga over shava even now), obviously hoping that it lives upto its acronym and progresses in the direction it intuitively should. The story goes that they went on to become the stereotypical hardcore UP family, of the dal-roti fame (WARNING- gals who let out a sigh of relief thinking making just dal and roti will 'patao-fy' me, BEWARE. I cant handle yellow dal). Rampur (why do I always feel the need to mention that the nearest big city is Bareilly?) had the privilege of being my birthplace (and hence get mentioned around in blogs!). But thats about as straight-forward as it got. From this point onwards my history takes a distinct turn to start sounding more like geography.

If ever there were a fantasy league for shifting homes and cities, I would rank pretty high on the stack. After being born in Rampur, my initial perceptions and impressions of this world were formed in Yamuna Nagar, Haryana. The Haryanvi water did to me what it does to most. Manne 'Hatta-Katta' bana ditta ji! Trucks galore, winters a-more, Haryana was a delight (or so I assume considering at that age our memory wasn't exactly a Cf card). But within two years, we were off to Thailand, and I was too young then to comprehend why men react the way they do on hearing Bangkok (I still had to google 'Bangkok+famous for' to truly understand what Bangkok holds in store). Memories, childhood, and Thailand constituted another three years, and we were on the move again, back to Yamuna Nagar. This time I was old enough to truly take in the beauty heralded by the place. But alas, by the time I could start calling this place home, low and behold, the travel bug hit us again. The journey of life had found its next station, Indonesia.

My father works in the pulp and paper industry, thus its not very often we got to stay in a proper city. Its always been at townships, and so was the case here. Of the 17000 islands large archipelago that Indonesia is, a very smart person decided to entrust the island of Sumatra to be home to the world's largest paper mill, and hence Sumatra was the island providing us the first glimpses of the country we would be staying in for the coming 12 years at least.. So a place called Kerinci became my home for the better part of my childhood, and 5 beautiful years at this small and simple town, carved a niche in my memory.

Apparently, such a long duration did not go down too well with the capital city of Indonesia, and before we knew it, one of the biggest cosmopolitan cities of the world had beckoned to us.

J.A.K.A.R.T.A! Its always been the rather underestimated brother of its more talked about neighbours. Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, even Bali for that matter, have always stolen its thunder. Which in a way is why it has managed to still keep its charm intact. My career path foundations were laid in Jakarta, and after completing high school, it was all but natural to make travel my companion once again, and head out for another phase of life.

As the general pattern had been thus far, life took me to a bigger and more renowned city than the previous one. The place which had for me been nothing but a city in the nearby Southeastern region; that city which had managed to hold its own and become the economy of south-east asia; that economy which epitomized Asia. SINGAPORE (fondly known to me as Lah-Lah Land). I had arrived (and by the looks of it, to stay for at least seven years!).

So, what do we gather from this? Twenty years, six different homes. Six different cities, tens of flights taken to these cities. Tens of flights to these cities, hundreds of miles travelled. Darn, if only there existed a lifetime frequent flyer card! At least I now know where my love for aeroplanes comes from! "What a nomad" is what I hear you say? Well, nomadic or not, life has been a journey for me thus far, true to its literal sense! A long journey that has had temporary stops at stations, adding flavours of the places, and forming the Southeast Asian multi-cultural package, sitting in some part of SE Asia, writing this out to you. 

But do you know what has been the one constant thing through all this? Its been my roots, my Indian-ness. Allow me to welcome you, our readers as we pay homage to our mother land, call ourselves Desis, because that is what we are, notwithstanding our current pardesi locations! Presenting to you freshly cooked articles from our PARDESI DHABA!