Networking 101- the Jungle Style!

The predator moves stealthily, eyes fixed on the prey. Careful not to make its intentions clear, it remains invisible...camouflaged until the right moment. And then...POUNCES.

Now you would tell me the very first image forming in your mind is that of a tiger and its unsuspecting prey (or probably in this Twilight era, that of a werewolf and vampire), playing the harsh game of survival that Mother Nature has so cleverly devised. 

Think again.

A Jungle it sure is, but a Corporate Jungle, where numerous preys and predators are free to roam at large. And their usual meeting ground is - a Networking Event.

When one takes a fish out of water it goes berserk, thrashing wildly trying to get back into the water. An amateur placed in a networking event, feels very much like a fish taken out of water. 

He/She lacks the finer nuances necessary to pounce on one's prey. Readers who feel a consanguinity with that amateur need only read on to learn from the experiences of another noob, who unsuspectingly felt trapped like a fish in a net. On the other hand, for the more established at this game, you too may want to read on (and probably gloat at the amateurish attempts of those far less skilled in this delicate art)!

24-week internship, and then some more – I still find myself building strategy long and hard before a networking event. Networking they say is most useful when you happen to be not working (aka 'vella') – in fact it’s that 'net' which gets you 'working'. 

Often quoted in books steeped in philosophy is the line ‘the big fish is the one to be caught in the net.’ But missed here is the the basic question – “how do we know who the big fish is?” Hence, the very first step in networking is to know who the prey is. Some techniques employed may involve:

a) eavesdropping (not recommended..but highly effective),

b) mental guessing (you may arrive at the correct conclusion, albeit with the involvement of a large chunk of luck), 

c) and proper research (the most obvious and 'fool'-proof method..).

Knowing who it is you want to network with is half the problem solved. Well begun is half done! Nevertheless only half the problem is solved. The second half, unfortunately, would require a whole lot more strategy and planning.

Hence, let me leave this bit of strategy to you for a while. Think over it. Put yourself in this situation. 

You are attending an event, you know who you want to talk to. It’s just about breaking the ice, and then breaking some more, that is left. Whatddyado??

If you think you know how to start the conversation or how to hand out the spanking new business card you just got printed...let us know.

And if not, then come back soon for the second half of the solution (an amateur one of course!).

-Paaritosh T

Of Corporate Ladders and Iced Tea

All of us want to end up successful. It’s one of the most basic human wants. 

At some point in our scholastic journey we realize that the end result of ‘education’ is to land ourselves a job. And almost immediately there is this big pedestal on which we place the workplace where we want to work.

Where exactly is it that we want to go? Well, quite recently I have been accepted into the mechanical engineering faculty. And though I am pretty sure that I have no idea what I want to do after graduation, I already have this picture of a big swanky top floor office at Boeing or BMW or NASA or well… M.E. Heaven!!

It’s funny though, I have never worked anywhere so far and yet, here I am with all this mental imagery of office life. The perfect office; must be quite a sight, after all every person wants to end up there.

Every programmer wants to get into Google; every businessman wants to dominate Wall Street and to each his own. The top is always the most desired position, but the journey to the top is always discounted. ‘Climbing the rungs of the corporate ladder’, as it is often called, can be a long and arduous journey.

Some look at it like travelling through a long dark tunnel, constantly waiting for the light at the other end. But what most don’t realize is that the destination may not be the same as what they had imagined during their journey. The long wait makes people build up surreal pictures of the top and when the reality seeps in, it leaves people sour.

“The richest man on earth is not one who has the most. It’s the one who needs the least.”

I think that quote would be the most apt for my argument. After all, it’s the journey that is more important than the destination. The journey to the perfect job has more to offer than the perfect job itself.

Therefore, I have to conclude with the fact that the perfect job is like a Long Island Ice Tea. It tastes nothing like alcohol, but contains enough spirits to get you inebriated before you know it. It makes sure you have a good time even though you may not know where you are going!

So I end my first article, optimistic and zestful...after all the glass of Long Island Iced Tea is always half full!!
-AB

Furnishing, Furniture and Fun (and Work)

   There are a multitude of things that differentiates one work place from another..decor..posters..post-its.. tidiness (or the lack of it) and last but not the least the people. But how much is the poster of (semi-)naked ladies in the bathroom related to the work culture?

   Recently I had some of my friends over to my office (I work at a start-up company called MoSync ... it has a very high geek density* so its not a normal office) on a Saturday. We were out practicing for our graduation dinner song and later out for a walk , some of us needed to use the loo. My office was a block away so I offered the use of our facilities.

 My workplace is a organized mess of monitors, macbooks, PCs and wires strewn all over the floor. In a sentence, it looks like the environment where people dream up the 'coolest things ever' and deliver the 'hottest selling software...ever' (Ever is an unusually overused word). Our fridge is half filled with things you would eat at breakfast and beers...a Nintendo Wii has a special place of honour in the common area and it has a huge screen to output pure gaming pleasure.

  I realized by the curious look on the faces of some of my friends that their offices looked nothing like this. They were in their own words, 'more standard'. But even then I understood, each of their offices probably has a completely different look and feel to it...and that there is nothing standard about any workplace in Sweden.

  This is an interesting point to start my article from...because it is the middle of the story..it is how Martin Scorsese tells his tales...and I like Scorsese. 

  The work that you are expected to do usually needs to be compensated by a workplace conducive to such work. I am sure the image of the government offices (Indian one's at least) stuck in everyone's minds is an old building, overpopulated with staff who sit around waiting for their next

 cup of tea, but suppose we take the exact same staff and put them in a sparkling new office, where tea is not served to you but is self-serviced...with conference rooms and white boards with targets and a strict office attire. I have a hard time seeing the same people sharpening pencils all day long.

  The point I am trying to make (and maybe have already made) is the amazing yet often unnoticed correlation between office atmosphere and work ethic. Indian offices are changing in their look as you read this blog, but its not as customized as the offices in western countries (in my case Sweden)..they are clean and neat but standard. Computer Engineers love having free beer and Nintendo Wiis, corporate office staff love having communal kitchens and informal Fridays...its not about having a general standard for offices...its about making sure your office has character!!

  So next time you start your company or join a new company, think about what kind of work you want to get done and change the decor accordingly..!! 

Till Next Time..Ciao

Shiv

*Geek Density : Depends on how many people have seen Star Wars (all the movies), atleast one season of Star Trek and have their own views on social media and internet polity vs entire office population.

The Capital Cities: Flight to New Delhi and Canberra

In Flight No. 1, we covered Jakarta . Read on for my take on New Delhi and Canberra.

New Delhi: This is where I confess to not knowing New Delhi all that well. In my defence, with the NCR booming and ballooning and the Metro's recent development, most Delhiites don't know the new New (see what i did there?) Delhi all that well either. Most people who talk about 'time slowing down' in India probably haven't been here yet, as New Delhi is active enough for even a hardened city boy like me. The apartments are ugly remnants of an earlier time, and could be prettier, to say the least. The food, of course, is amazing. I find that New Delhi, to me, is more interesting in the way it differs from Jakarta. The public transport is lightyears ahead (the Metro is a huge point of pride for me as a Delhiite, and the best defense against the dreaded Mumbaikers, but not for long), the roads are worse (although less packed and marginally better for walking on), the malls have a long long way to go (I compared them to my beloved MKG in Jakarta and they all fell short), Indian poverty is of course absymal (if I could wield a wand...), and I don't think I've ever encountered the characteristic Delhiite rudeness that people speak of. On a completely unrelated note: how come Delhiites don't stick together like Maharashtrans, Bengalis, Kashmiris, Punjabis, etc. do?

                Canberra: It occurs to me that I shall soon spend more time here in my first year than I ever have in Delhi: how do these things happen? I like to call Canberra 'the capital in the middle of nowhere' (I mean seriously, no international flights?) and as Australia's capital city one would expect quite a bit from it. In the way it (as a developed country capital) differs from Jakarta and New Delhi (stereotypical rapidly developing developing (and I did it again) country capitals), I find it fascinating. It can have a very quiet, sleepy, suburban atmosphere, with five populated clusters separated by undeveloped natural land. It is orders of magnitude more walkable than Jakarta and New Delhi, but strangely has absolutely terrible public transport (bad bus service, no other options). One has to actually call taxis (are you kidding?) and there is one mall in the city centre, confusingly titled Canberra Centre Mall. One. Thursday nights here are incredible (if you're a fan of the heavy heavy drinking culture or simply enjoy watching people get smashed like I do), and I think this is because civil servants (government is the single largest employer) get paid every second Thursday. This means cheap drinks (the holy grail of every starving, but at least now not thirsting, college student). The people here are surprising in the extremity of their niceness, and as far as racism is concerned, I feel quite safe, or at least no more unsafe than anyone else (college students vs. townie tension + lots of alcohol = this won't end well). Canberra definitely doesn't have a big city feel to it, and in some ways seems less full-featured than either Jakarta or Delhi, but is definitely not dull.

                So there you have it. In conclusion, both Jakarta and New Delhi beat Canberra in terms of big cityness, but Canberra has charms of its own. If you stayed with me through all that, congratulations! You have earned the 'finished imposingly long article' achievement award.


-Vaibhav Sagar

The CAPITAL Cities - Flight No. 1

Some people long for the seaside, the hillside, or the riverside (am I stretching this too thin?), far from the constantly grinding infernal machine that is the city. I, on the other hand, have grown up in these cities, and love their polluted air and concrete-sprouting tarred (but not feathered) earth. When those around me express their desire to commune with nature I idly wonder how long they could bear to survive without internet access and the creature comforts that they have, at great expense, appropriated for themselves. This means that I'm either a spoiled brat who wants no less than instant gratification or a sophisticate who has learned to love the metropolis (it is obvious which explanation I prefer). I was born in New Delhi, moved to Jakarta at the ripe age of 2 months (what implications this has on my claim to Indianness I shall leave you, dear reader, to decide), and am now pursuing an undergraduate education in Canberra (it's ok if you've never heard of it, I'll try not to *sniff* take it *sniff* too hard). By some bizarre coincidence, all three of these are capital cities, and as the self-proclaimed expert, allow me to take you (in two parts) through these capitals I have been fortunate to call home. Why two parts for three cities? Well, because I said so.

Jakarta: I grew up here, and love this place in spite of (and perhaps paradoxically because of) its many flaws. Having said that, though, I increasingly find myself advising people not to visit as a tourist. I mean, 'Sightseeing in Jakarta' would make a very very short book, and Jakarta seems to me to be fairly tourist-unfriendly (Bali, on the other hand...). If you have friends or relatives or, even better, if you live here, then you pretty much have it made. The lovely people, readily available domestic help, drivers (more on that in a minute), the shopping (more on that too), etc. The roads, however, will make a man (or woman) out of you: few activites will imbue you with zen-like calm faster than the first-hand experience of Jakarta traffic, and this is why great drivers are indispensable (I know this because I learned to drive there: good times, good (oh-my-god-I'm-going-to-kill-us-all) times...). The mind-boggling number of malls, however, means that if you wait long enough, eventually one will pop up next door: I posit that a mall can be built in the time it takes one to visit all the existing malls in Jakarta. One never walks in Jakarta unless one is desperate or lacking, as the roads are very pedestrian-unfriendly. Jakarta's poverty is extremely depressing, but in this respect it is slightly better than, say, New Delhi. The Indian community here is small (3-4%, Sindhis not included because they've integrated themselves so well that we consider them Indonesian: if you're Sindhi, you probably know exactly which relatives of yours are here already) but extremely tight-knit, and as an Indian you will be in great company. I could go on, but I seem to have something in my eye (I’ve been also been chopping onions, and don't you dare ask me how I can chop onions and write at the same time, it's a gift).

And that’s all for now, folks! Tune in soon (very soon) for Flight No. 2!

- Vaibhav Sagar

Work ethics: India vs. Singapore

Ever been annoyed with nothing to do and nothing to pass the time in an Indian office? Or ever been stuck with a never ending list of things to attend to immediately even after your designated leaving time arrives and passes by in Singapore? Sat and counted the number of hours left before work ends no matter where you are?

There are some subtle, some obvious differences as well as some basic similarities between work places around the world. Some are more relaxed, some more deadline oriented, while others operate with the sole purpose of killing their employees of exhaustion or boredom.

As Monica (in FRIENDS) so aptly put it, "Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it."

It all boils down to cultural differences of where we're brought up and the underlying similarity in human nature. Asia, Europe, Australia and US, all have a completely different set of work values. My non-expert, hearsay based perception is that Australia is much more relaxed, with as much emphasis on sports as there is on work, with an unparalleled sense of dignity of labour. Europe for some reason feels more structured to me, maybe because they've been around for and developed for much longer than the other fellas. Based on the recent economic crisis, US seems to conduct themselves with a devil-may-care-about-how-we-treat-the-world-as-long-as-we-do-well-for-ourselves outlook, while Asia is trying really hard to break out of their own more or less self-sufficient little worlds to take advantage of globalisation. Ok I acknowledge I may be way off the mark here, but heck, I'm entitled an opinion.

Singapore, like in everything else, amalgamates, or at least tries hard to amalgamate, the best of all worlds. Which means that it has a killer worklife, a crazy nightlife when you're out drinking with office buddies late at night yet make it to office in time the next morning and somehow outgrow hangovers in the process, as well as a strange mix of Asian-ness and global-ness in its feel.

But I'm drifting off here, as I often do when we start on the topic of Singapore and how hard they try to stay relevant by importing 'talent', 'teaching' creativity, smothering opposition, caning offenders, hanging people found with drugs, and of course, banning chewing gums (I mean seriously, WTH!).

There, I drifted off again. Ok so back to the issue of India vs. Singapore work places. I did a summer internship in a bank in India, 2 of the most mind-numbing summer months I'd say. But it did make me think about how the way people work differs in different places.

We all know how slack many of the Indian offices are, especially those government ones. People will leave their desks, walk around, go meet their friends, chat about politics, corruption, cricket, weather, toot their own horns etc etc. The first hour after they reach work, that too an hour late, is spent socialising and talking about what has changed in the past 15 hours since they saw each other. And the more senior you are, the later you reach work.

In Singapore, it is more clinical. If you know the people around you, good for you. Otherwise its more of a keep to yourself kind of working mode. The moment you reach work, you check the office mailbox, follow up on any correspondence, and begin work, almost as if an invisible Big Brother is watching you. Maybe he is, you never know with this democratic, read authoritarian, government.

There seems to be a greater sense of urgency when it comes to Singapore. The need to get things done on time without someone breathing down your neck seems ingrained into the fabric of daily life. Life seems slower in India, people are more relaxed. We live and breathe the saying "aaj kare so kaal kar, kaal kare so parson. Itni bhi kya jaldi hai, abhi toh jeena hai barson". (What you have to do today, do it tomorrow. What you have to do tomorrow, do it day after. What's the hurry anyways, we've got ages to live!)

Of course, everything in Singapore is computer based. Technology plays a key role in giving Singapore an edge at least over its Asian competitors. In India, the transformation has only just started, specially in government agencies. Many, many people still wouldn't know where to begin if you sat them down in front of a computer, and told them to access the files from there, instead of the big bundles of papers that are sent from one section to another, with their recycled cardboard-ish cover papers tied together with strings. In that way, Singapore is miles ahead.

Singapore work force also seems younger at the first glance. Or at least smarter, better dressed, more professional looking. Maybe I am just using the wrong example. There are of course up and coming companies mainly run by young professionals in India. Also, IT companies seem to be more populated by youngsters. But the older places of work (whatever that means) seem to be frequented by the older generation, where the proud possession of a paunch is a pre-requisite to fit in.

The concept of 'lunch' hours in India can encompass much more than the usual 1 hour break that is standard in Singapore. There is also a definite exodus of people as time nears 5:30pm, or whatever the working hours are like. People rarely stay back to work after that, and within an hour, the entire office is deserted. And there is that delightful concept of extra overtime pay in India, something that would make employers go broke if introduced in Singapore.

Many find the professionalism of personnel lacking and the amount of work minimal in Indian offices. I've personally seen that it is a matter of choice to work hard or not. I think that you can breeze through 40 years of service and stay at the exact same spot because you're content in the knowledge that as long as you don't majorly screw up, your job is safe; or go out of your way to work hard and really make great strides up the ladder.

I was actually surprised during my internship to find that many of the people were brilliant. Most people really did seem to be very well informed about banking, government policies as well as the latest news in the finance world. They were very interested in what they did, and had quite entertaining discussions over lunch, specially since everyone had their own interpretation ready at hand for every situation.

In Singapore, working hard is not a matter of choice. If you want your job tomorrow, you always have to stay on your toes. While waking up at 6am just for the purpose of reaching work on time is fairly unimaginable in India, it is not even something you can complain about in Singapore, simply because half the people around do it. The rate at which people join and leave companies is really high as well, especially for start-ups. That's another thing about Singapore, start-ups ABOUND. You can't throw a stone in any direction in a conference without hitting someone who has started their own company. In India, getting a job in a company which no one has heard of is almost as bad as having no job at all. And your parents and relatives will keep reminding you of that distant cousin or neighbour's niece who got a job in such-and-such hi-fi company till you get one yourself or kill yourself trying.

The concept of hierarchy is important too in Asian workplaces. Your boss may be half your age, but you have to talk to him like he owns you. I remember being scolded for not being respectful enough when I didn't bow down and act like a slave to some GM. While Singapore has that Chinese-ness and hence Asian-ness when it comes to respecting those more powerful, it does provide more equality at least in the way in which one interacts with the higher management.

By the way, don't you agree that the middle management sucks everywhere? The people right at the bottom and right at the top are always the nicest and down-to-earth. It's annoying really. I guess the ones in between always have something to prove, to make people believe that they are important too.

On a side note, I don't think we in Singapore or India appreciate how natural English feels to us enough. Today, after a 10 minute call to a Korean association, I was not even able to establish whether the number I was calling was indeed the company I was looking for. Made me wonder why the whole world just didn't use English. But then as someone very aptly pointed out, all the jobs would go to the PRCs and we would be left to "khaak-chanofy".

With that, my rant for the day is done. Until next time, folks! Ta.

Please put your pens down and stop writing.

Exams are a curious thing, one which students are invariably allergic to. Making matters worse is the absence of any foolproof vaccination, thereby leading to, without fail, an annual epidemic in the months of December and April. Summer may arrive early, monsoon late, but exams have a knack of reaching the right place at the wrong time. In addition to this, they know no political boundaries, and usually follow their victims throughout their formative years, irrespective of the country. Countries placing barriers to entry on exams, would have thrived (even during the recently passed recession) on an economy based solely on the "import export" of students, during certain periods of March-May and November-December. 

I speak from personal experience here because I have had the rather unenviable distinction of having given (or is it 'taken'? Damn it, I always get confused on this one!) exams in three different countries. Thankfully for me, my father's company wasnt in the mood of gifting us Krisflyer or any other flyer mileage points, and that number stayed at that.

So to observe the effect that globalization has had on this phenomenon of examination, the following experiment should be rather useful. Take a prototype (yours truly), place him in exam halls in different countries, and monitor his heartbeat to observe the reaction. 

Bangalore (I know its Bengaluru now, but the former sounds way cooler), 2007

--^v----------^v---------^v-------^v--------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v--^v-^v--^v-^v--^v-^v--

(Beginning of exam)                   (halfway through)                  (Rushing to end) 

I had gone for my first major exam on Indian soil (yes, I like the dramatic effect this sentence creates), the I I T J E E! The ingrained psychology drilled in us Indians is that no matter what, utilize every microsecond of your time during an examination. The frantic scribbling should continue till the point the 

teacher tries to snatch the paper away, and you should have to let go only for fear of your own hands being accomplice in tearing 3hrs worth of work. To save time, students even resist nature's call, and test their limits (and hopefully only test and not cross it!), lest they lose time.

 

It was the presence of the invigilators though which provided tadka on the already chilly experience. (Do note that by chilly I do not imply "cold" in its literal sense since it was April, and the hall wasn't exactly air-conditioned.) I know I can be forgiven for referring to them as alligators instead of invigilators (what? don't look at the screen like that. These words rhyme, and I am not out of my mind!). Those huge eyes peer at you with "oh you are SO dead!" look, that self pity can't be blamed for making an appearance. Its at these points you wish you had an Alpenliebe with you, hoping it helps pacify these gators (refer to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XrTtidde4U). At least it would make the exam a more comfortable if not easier affair!

Gandhi Memorial International School, Jakarta, March 2007

 --^v---^v---^v---^v---^v-------------^v-------------^v------------^v-------------^v---------------^v---------------^v--

(Beginning of exam)                   (halfway through)                  (By the end) 

Indonesians are very mild and easy-going. What I dint know was that these very adjectives could also hold applicable for an exam hall environment. That is though, until I had the good-fortune of having an Indonesian invigilator for a high school exam. Throughout the duration of the exam, she had the I-couldn't-care-less expression, which the famous Droopy has made his own. As would be obvious, the well-thought out coughing and scratching of foreheads during the MCQs were more profound than usual, turning the usually silent exam hall into a fish market of sorts.

Jakarta International School, June 2006 (American School)

--^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v--

(constantly high) 

The heart rate found more reasons than one to double itself when I went to give an external exam in an American School. I don't think I can be any more explicit here! Let me just say that the sights and sounds around the exam hall and campus premises made it a lot more difficult to concentrate on the examination at hand!

Amidst this razmattaz, the invigilators formed part of a relaxed backdrop, being the perfect hybrid of our "alligators" and "Droopys". Friendly yet stern, their presence was neither imposing nor unfelt. It was the "not-so-invigilator" aspect which formed a memorable experience!

National University of Singapore, December 2007

Singapore = Discipline? What discipline? Its more like auto-programmed robots! The exams I have sat for in the past three years, have followed the same "script" (literally): the same speech at the beginning and end of the stipulated time (not to forget the one 15 minutes before the end), the same person sitting in front of me for the royal treatment exams met out to us, and the same screwing up that follows. What I fail to understand is the concept of an "exam script", which is adhered to word by word! Its feels eerily familiar to the pronouncing of a life sentence to the alleged. To ensure you readers do not miss out on this experience, let me sign off in the typical end-of-exam tone I have been hearing (with convenient modifications of course!).

" Anyone still found reading would be strongly appreciated, and his/her name shall be noted down for strictly no disciplinary action, which may involve exclusive preview of articles or a contribution to the rostrum itself. You may now go back to your exam revision. Please make sure you have left some part of yourself behind so that we get to see you again."

P.S Noticed that the heartbeat monitor was missing in the NUS section? Ah well, epitomises the NUS experience; many things one plans here remain just those, plans!

Where's the party tonight?

   Sweden, has been my home for the last 8 months and to say the least for the people of Stockholm...I feel way more at home here than in Singapore. Its not because Singaporeans are not a lively people or Singapore is too sterile or Singapore has too many rules but simply because Swedes are lively, active and lagom....they are basically Indians who have undergone some form of plastic surgery.

                                      In my last post I talked about lagom, that is Swedes being very relaxed and easy. But there is also a wild side to Swedes....Swedes like to party, they have pre-party..party..post-party phases to a night and beer to make the transitions between these phases ASAP (as smooth as possible). Again I would be reiterating my previous post, but it is important to keep in mind...I am not a people person..I am not a party person...hell I don't even like large groups of people (and by large I mean any number greater than 3).

 So then how? (A commonly used phrase in Singapore to mean 'so then what did you do?')

 I did what I was sent here to do.....party!!*

 But what happens when you put an average Indian nerd in a Swedish rock pub filled with a representation of the whole spectrum of Swedish society, what do you do to not act like a schmuck....again remember rule ONE of travelling. Always ask the locals for help..

So here are the pointers I was given to start on (they might not apply to you..but then again they might):

  a) Start with a few beers, don't get too drunk too fast. 

My immediate reply) Hey, but I don't drink.

Awkward silence for 3 minutes

  b) Eat a little before you go out you never know when your next meal will be, something meaty is good.
My immediate reply) I am a vegetarian.

Awkward silence for 2 minutes
  

 c) Don't be shy with the ladies, talk normally...and you should be ok
Awkward staring. The advisors were waiting for my prompt reply to bust a hole in their advice
My not so immediate reply) I am really not so shy with girls.
Hi5s all around to imply there was still hope

 So did the advice work? Well lets put it simply, I looked about myself...made a decision...and its been one hell of a non-stop party since then....

So go ahead and find your inner party-person..As Indians or Asians we might have a sense of propriety that maybe slightly above the world average..but experiencing new things is not a bad move...it helps you grow and learn things about other people and cultures but most of all about yourself....

PEACE OUT!!

*If you represent NUS/NOC/NCST or something similar, please know that all parties were on weekends on my time and that I always reached work on time and when I wrote "I did what I was sent here to do...party"..I meant learn, absorb and grow as an Entrepreneur...the reference to party at this point is only for comic effect and nothing else...so please don't get me into trouble with the powers above..

The Great Indian Dream?

Disclaimer: The characters in this post are definitely not fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely intentional.

11 April 2010: Ridgeley, MD, USA

Crash...Thud...Collision...Fire...Bloodshed...Agony...!

This was the order of the hour, at East Coast’s premier hang gliding centre. The glider had failed to lift itself off the ground, after being provided with sufficient momentum by its driver during the half-mile run. The rescue squad had arrived – including a pool of cops, medical reps and a fire-fighting squad. The police authorities had comfortably guessed the age of the ambitious young man to be in the early 20s, yet had no clue to his identity. The meds knew they had limited time in hand – they were thrown at the boundary between life and death. With every passing Planck time, the wounded person was being pulled to the cosy arms of death that would defy all ‘bloody’ attraction theories in Milky Way – be it Newton’s law of gravitation or Bhagavad Gita’s ideology of ‘detached attachment’ or King Kong’s uncouth appeal towards Ann Darrow.

Alas, the young blond man uttered a clutter of words, of which the only word that the meds remotely made sense of was – “Snowy....”

18 Apr 2010: Department of Diagnostics & Back-up CSIs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, USA

Clueless as to how many lunar revolutions had occurred since my earlier state of sanity; I awaken to a dizzy state. And there seems a very familiar argument prodding on around me. I catch the maverick diagnostician exclaiming to his colleagues – “Everybody lies, folks. The string at the apex of the glider had worn out after being used for 18 years. Obviously, the authorities wouldn’t admit.”

Shock then overwhelmed me to bewilderment. “House? I mean, Dr Gregory House?”


“Yes, Dr. Obnoxious Moron. If you’d have achieved this Nirvana a week earlier, I’d have called you Tintin. Ruined my perfect vacation with a troll of mother elephants at the Baltimore Harbor. You’re the first patient that has clocked a week with me..faggot!”

And I left Greg to his job, aware that I might have been at fault with my run that day. After all, I did have an assortment of experiences with running to catch up with time/life. Sensing the need to investigate into Tintin’s unexplored childhood marathon, I decided to have a catnap.

27 Jun 2009: Changi International Airport, Singapore (The Great Tintin Run 1)

2115 HRS: 45 minutes left to my flight's departure to Paris. Desperately leaving the cab behind, I was fleeing to the check-in counter. If I missed this one, the next flight was exactly 24 hours later. I’d then lose the golden opportunity to attempt for the lead role in Blake Edward’s ‘Pink Panther.’ Running hard & panting like never before, not even when I used to be delayed for my chemical engineering exams at the National University of Singapore. Finally, I arrived at the check-in booth – “Tintin? Sorry Lah, the gate is now closed.”

13 May 1992: Chennai, India (The Great Tintin Run 2)
“Tintin, come & take your ball, kid.”

Proud to show off my walking capabilities, I took off with the same enthusiasm as a leopard would after spotting its prey on a night prowl. Focus was set. Swoosh…Swoosh….and I tripped on my baby toes. But guess what, I was protected by the warmth of my grandpa’s arms. (Gone are those days)

9 Nov 2005: Dubai, UAE (The Great Tintin Run 3)

The tennis ball came zooming towards me, and I could feel everyone’s gaze converging at my hands. I could only imagine the repercussions of the last ball finish of a 20-over game of cricket on all of us, teenage kids. “Catch it, Tintin! Don’t miss the freaking catch.” Running towards the ball, bearing in mind projectile motions & the Bernoulli’s preached in high school; I looped in the air and managed to clasp it between my fingers. *THUD* Then, I collapsed against one of the CRVs in the parking lot.

21 Jan 1993: Delhi, India (The Great Tintin Run 4)

Loud & irritating horn sounds are initiated by a huge driver sahib of a mammoth bus. After having being woken up ten minutes earlier, there starts a running attempt to get on the school bus. My 'Laddu-esque' friends on the bus perform stunts through the window to confirm that I’ve missed my vahana & I felt like an over-burnt Jalebi.

“Ha. It’s confirmed. Wait. At least, it’s not Lupus.” – Dr. House

21 Apr 2001: Mumbai, India (The Great Tintin Run 5)

Coerced to join the popular primary school game 'Hide n Seek' in one of the Physical Excursion classes, I was left with the trickiest part of it all - being a 'denner'. Initially tentative to run away from the den, I later found myself scouting for my friends - fast forwards - "You're out, TinTin!" Startled at this pleasant charming voice in my group, I jerked off everyone to witness every Indian adolescent's (in my generation) dream girl - "HERMIONEEE.....Erm, I mean Emmmmaaa?"

"Sath..Sathvik..you're the only one left to go for hang gliding. Stop day dreaming, jackass!" - my buddy just knocked me to reality?

PS: If Ghajini could emulate Memento as well as it did, consider this a lame attempt at a Memento-style narrative. To add on, I've grown up with these characters & therefore decided to endear them in the starters.

PPS: The HodgePodge team is possibly going to sue me for not adhering to the theme. But I'd love to sign off with a chart that really kept me glued to this theme in the last few days. Is this really the Great Indian Dream? Arguably, not. At this very moment, if you aren't able to perceive my intent, clearly I've addressed my objectives. So, until next time....Kabhi-Alvida-Na-Kehna-Phir-Milenge-Yuhi-Chalte-Chalte!

Jai Ho!

Hello. How aar?

I've never really been one for collaborative work. I don't usually find it very productive. What's that saying? "When birds fly in a V, they need exert only half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness." Group work needs a lot of compromise to be able to satisfy everyone. I'm hoping this blog will make me realize that it's worth the effort and that a certain sense of responsibility towards others will push me out of my deep seated instinct of slacking.

Well, I guess I should write a little about myself. Wish I could say I was a Jack of all trades, but really, I'm more the Jill who came tumbling after. I'm no good at any particular thing, except maybe randomness and disorder. And of course, procrastination.

I spent the first 15 years of my life in the same house. Except the first one year, but well, I don't remember that one. To me, "home" is a sense of stability, of something where nothing changes. When I go back home, the first thing I do is take a walk around and ensure that I know of anything that might be new. Which switch is for the fan and which one for the light, even in the dark, in a house which I'm visiting after an year, is something ingrained in my sub-conscience. Which is why to me it will forever be incomprehensible how families which move every year or two cope.

After those initial years, the next 5 have been spent in 7 different hostel rooms. The 3 birthdays one ever does celebrate with pomp and show - 16, 18 and 21 - have been in Singaland, a place which feels more like home to me than India. Never one to be homesick, I seem to adapt to new places fairly quickly. It sometimes amazes even me how routine and even mundane a completely new lifestyle can become within a very short period of time.

I think I use sarcasm when I'm not sure how to respond. I love collecting quotes. I drop my phone too often. I stumble on flat ground. I love watching depressing TV shows and worrying about other people's problems rather than my own. I love people who make me laugh. And I've often wondered why I can't be one of those nice people whom everyone likes and who get along with everyone. But I guess I quite like having the freedom of saying whatever pops into my mind without giving too much of a damn.

And yep, I'll be providing the oestrogen to keep this blog balanced. Until next time, folks! Ta.

Its a Small World After All...

SELAMAT Hejsan! Namaskar and welcome to this blog, our attempt at providing you your monthly dose of humour, philosophy, tech-dom and general randomness!

A term often overused these days is "globalization". Talk about globalization, and I start to wonder whether the term was coined keeping me in mind. Confused? Allow me to explain. My family has strong UP (theoretically Uttar Pradesh, practically Ulta Pradesh) roots. Whatever I do know of the family tree, my ancestors seemed to have left the Shava-Shava of Punjab and taken a liking to UP (though that doesnt prevent us from going gaga over shava even now), obviously hoping that it lives upto its acronym and progresses in the direction it intuitively should. The story goes that they went on to become the stereotypical hardcore UP family, of the dal-roti fame (WARNING- gals who let out a sigh of relief thinking making just dal and roti will 'patao-fy' me, BEWARE. I cant handle yellow dal). Rampur (why do I always feel the need to mention that the nearest big city is Bareilly?) had the privilege of being my birthplace (and hence get mentioned around in blogs!). But thats about as straight-forward as it got. From this point onwards my history takes a distinct turn to start sounding more like geography.

If ever there were a fantasy league for shifting homes and cities, I would rank pretty high on the stack. After being born in Rampur, my initial perceptions and impressions of this world were formed in Yamuna Nagar, Haryana. The Haryanvi water did to me what it does to most. Manne 'Hatta-Katta' bana ditta ji! Trucks galore, winters a-more, Haryana was a delight (or so I assume considering at that age our memory wasn't exactly a Cf card). But within two years, we were off to Thailand, and I was too young then to comprehend why men react the way they do on hearing Bangkok (I still had to google 'Bangkok+famous for' to truly understand what Bangkok holds in store). Memories, childhood, and Thailand constituted another three years, and we were on the move again, back to Yamuna Nagar. This time I was old enough to truly take in the beauty heralded by the place. But alas, by the time I could start calling this place home, low and behold, the travel bug hit us again. The journey of life had found its next station, Indonesia.

My father works in the pulp and paper industry, thus its not very often we got to stay in a proper city. Its always been at townships, and so was the case here. Of the 17000 islands large archipelago that Indonesia is, a very smart person decided to entrust the island of Sumatra to be home to the world's largest paper mill, and hence Sumatra was the island providing us the first glimpses of the country we would be staying in for the coming 12 years at least.. So a place called Kerinci became my home for the better part of my childhood, and 5 beautiful years at this small and simple town, carved a niche in my memory.

Apparently, such a long duration did not go down too well with the capital city of Indonesia, and before we knew it, one of the biggest cosmopolitan cities of the world had beckoned to us.

J.A.K.A.R.T.A! Its always been the rather underestimated brother of its more talked about neighbours. Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, even Bali for that matter, have always stolen its thunder. Which in a way is why it has managed to still keep its charm intact. My career path foundations were laid in Jakarta, and after completing high school, it was all but natural to make travel my companion once again, and head out for another phase of life.

As the general pattern had been thus far, life took me to a bigger and more renowned city than the previous one. The place which had for me been nothing but a city in the nearby Southeastern region; that city which had managed to hold its own and become the economy of south-east asia; that economy which epitomized Asia. SINGAPORE (fondly known to me as Lah-Lah Land). I had arrived (and by the looks of it, to stay for at least seven years!).

So, what do we gather from this? Twenty years, six different homes. Six different cities, tens of flights taken to these cities. Tens of flights to these cities, hundreds of miles travelled. Darn, if only there existed a lifetime frequent flyer card! At least I now know where my love for aeroplanes comes from! "What a nomad" is what I hear you say? Well, nomadic or not, life has been a journey for me thus far, true to its literal sense! A long journey that has had temporary stops at stations, adding flavours of the places, and forming the Southeast Asian multi-cultural package, sitting in some part of SE Asia, writing this out to you. 

But do you know what has been the one constant thing through all this? Its been my roots, my Indian-ness. Allow me to welcome you, our readers as we pay homage to our mother land, call ourselves Desis, because that is what we are, notwithstanding our current pardesi locations! Presenting to you freshly cooked articles from our PARDESI DHABA!