Please put your pens down and stop writing.

Exams are a curious thing, one which students are invariably allergic to. Making matters worse is the absence of any foolproof vaccination, thereby leading to, without fail, an annual epidemic in the months of December and April. Summer may arrive early, monsoon late, but exams have a knack of reaching the right place at the wrong time. In addition to this, they know no political boundaries, and usually follow their victims throughout their formative years, irrespective of the country. Countries placing barriers to entry on exams, would have thrived (even during the recently passed recession) on an economy based solely on the "import export" of students, during certain periods of March-May and November-December. 

I speak from personal experience here because I have had the rather unenviable distinction of having given (or is it 'taken'? Damn it, I always get confused on this one!) exams in three different countries. Thankfully for me, my father's company wasnt in the mood of gifting us Krisflyer or any other flyer mileage points, and that number stayed at that.

So to observe the effect that globalization has had on this phenomenon of examination, the following experiment should be rather useful. Take a prototype (yours truly), place him in exam halls in different countries, and monitor his heartbeat to observe the reaction. 

Bangalore (I know its Bengaluru now, but the former sounds way cooler), 2007

--^v----------^v---------^v-------^v--------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v-------^v--^v-^v--^v-^v--^v-^v--

(Beginning of exam)                   (halfway through)                  (Rushing to end) 

I had gone for my first major exam on Indian soil (yes, I like the dramatic effect this sentence creates), the I I T J E E! The ingrained psychology drilled in us Indians is that no matter what, utilize every microsecond of your time during an examination. The frantic scribbling should continue till the point the 

teacher tries to snatch the paper away, and you should have to let go only for fear of your own hands being accomplice in tearing 3hrs worth of work. To save time, students even resist nature's call, and test their limits (and hopefully only test and not cross it!), lest they lose time.

 

It was the presence of the invigilators though which provided tadka on the already chilly experience. (Do note that by chilly I do not imply "cold" in its literal sense since it was April, and the hall wasn't exactly air-conditioned.) I know I can be forgiven for referring to them as alligators instead of invigilators (what? don't look at the screen like that. These words rhyme, and I am not out of my mind!). Those huge eyes peer at you with "oh you are SO dead!" look, that self pity can't be blamed for making an appearance. Its at these points you wish you had an Alpenliebe with you, hoping it helps pacify these gators (refer to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XrTtidde4U). At least it would make the exam a more comfortable if not easier affair!

Gandhi Memorial International School, Jakarta, March 2007

 --^v---^v---^v---^v---^v-------------^v-------------^v------------^v-------------^v---------------^v---------------^v--

(Beginning of exam)                   (halfway through)                  (By the end) 

Indonesians are very mild and easy-going. What I dint know was that these very adjectives could also hold applicable for an exam hall environment. That is though, until I had the good-fortune of having an Indonesian invigilator for a high school exam. Throughout the duration of the exam, she had the I-couldn't-care-less expression, which the famous Droopy has made his own. As would be obvious, the well-thought out coughing and scratching of foreheads during the MCQs were more profound than usual, turning the usually silent exam hall into a fish market of sorts.

Jakarta International School, June 2006 (American School)

--^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v----^v--

(constantly high) 

The heart rate found more reasons than one to double itself when I went to give an external exam in an American School. I don't think I can be any more explicit here! Let me just say that the sights and sounds around the exam hall and campus premises made it a lot more difficult to concentrate on the examination at hand!

Amidst this razmattaz, the invigilators formed part of a relaxed backdrop, being the perfect hybrid of our "alligators" and "Droopys". Friendly yet stern, their presence was neither imposing nor unfelt. It was the "not-so-invigilator" aspect which formed a memorable experience!

National University of Singapore, December 2007

Singapore = Discipline? What discipline? Its more like auto-programmed robots! The exams I have sat for in the past three years, have followed the same "script" (literally): the same speech at the beginning and end of the stipulated time (not to forget the one 15 minutes before the end), the same person sitting in front of me for the royal treatment exams met out to us, and the same screwing up that follows. What I fail to understand is the concept of an "exam script", which is adhered to word by word! Its feels eerily familiar to the pronouncing of a life sentence to the alleged. To ensure you readers do not miss out on this experience, let me sign off in the typical end-of-exam tone I have been hearing (with convenient modifications of course!).

" Anyone still found reading would be strongly appreciated, and his/her name shall be noted down for strictly no disciplinary action, which may involve exclusive preview of articles or a contribution to the rostrum itself. You may now go back to your exam revision. Please make sure you have left some part of yourself behind so that we get to see you again."

P.S Noticed that the heartbeat monitor was missing in the NUS section? Ah well, epitomises the NUS experience; many things one plans here remain just those, plans!